I am a 24 year old, single female, living on my own in a 400 square foot house, and am a self employed Nail Technician. I have 2 dogs, and just recently I shocked my friends and family by telling them that I have begun the process to adopt a child through the foster to adopt program through the state. While I shocked my family and friends with the sudden announcement that I wanted to adopt, I have been considering adopting for about 2 years now. Close friends and family know that I am a researcher. If something even vaguely catches my attention I will research it until there is almost nothing left to research. I research all angles of whatever interests me at the moment, and the same is true for my initial interest in adoption.
I originally became interested in adopting because I've always wanted a family of my own. Adoption became an option for me when I considered all the children in foster care, and in adoption agencies that needed a permanent and loving home. So, to start the process 2 years ago, I researched Texas state laws on adoption. What were the age restrictions for adoptive parents? What were the laws regarding single adoption applicants? Is it required that an applicant be married? I had so many questions. Out came my trusty computer, hooked up to the internet, and up came the Google search engine. I found out that in the state of Texas you must be at least 21 years of age, and you can be married or single. Next came the forms of adoption: domestic infant adoption, foster to adopt, embryo adoption, and so many others. I researched costs of adoption because lets face it, no one is going to give you a child for free right?
I knew I would never be able to afford embryo adoption, and it's such a controversial topic that I just wasn't sure if it was right for me, although I did love the idea of having a child that I had carried to full term. But then other issues came up like the fact that other people might adopt the other embryos from that batch and then I may have to deal with explaining to my child that I was pregnant with them, but they some how have full blood brothers/sisters from a completely different family that also carried them. That seemed like a situation that I wasn't ready to have to explain. So, I checked that off the list.
Next I considered domestic infant adoption. It seemed like a good option if I could save the money up for the process, which is around $17,000 to $20,000, but then I had to think about how I would feel if I watched a child come into this world thinking it was my child, only to have the birth family decide they didn't want to put the baby up for adoption any longer. That would have broken my heart. I have a hard time when it comes to getting my hopes way up there, having the moment right at my fingertips, only for it to fall through in the end. I also knew it would take me so long to save the money for that particular form of adoption that I may not be able to actually save up the money. So I kept that one on the back burner and kept looking at other options.
I looked at thousands of pictures of children in the foster care system that were available for straight adoption, and thought to myself: "This is a viable option for me." These children need an understanding, loving home where they can feel safe, loved, protected, and comfortable. I am a survivor of abuse and I felt I might have something to offer these children in terms of understanding what they were going through and what they were feeling. So, with this direction in mind, I started researching adopting a child in the states care. Which led me to the foster to adopt program. I knew I wasn't ready for an older child (i.e. pre-teen to teenage), I mean let's face it... I'm only 24. My little brother is 16!
Sometimes I still feel like a teenager myself, maybe not in the irresponsible, my parents pay for everything and the only thing I have to worry about is what I'm doing for the summer way, but I do still feel young at heart. I think if I were to adopt a teenager or pre-teen I would become more of their friend than an actual parent. So while doing research through a local children's home called Buckner I found out that by doing a straight adoption through the state I was more likely to have older children to choose from, but if I do the foster to adopt program I'm more likely to get children ages 3 and under. So, I downloaded a pre-application from the website, and filled it out. I also downloaded a list of requirements, because I was afraid my home might be too small according to state laws.
I was invited to orientation the day after downloading the pre-application. Now Buckner, and any other agency I would be working with are located in Lubbock, Texas, which is about an hour east of my home. It was last minute, but I made sure I was at the orientation. I had expected something similar to college orientation, as in having a room filled with people, and looking at lots of different presentations, and having several notes to take so I knew what the heck was going on. I get there a few minutes early for the orientation, expecting to have to find a place to park, and so on. I'm greeted by an almost empty parking lot, and locked doors. The director of the foster to adopt program there at Buckner met me and opened the door for me, and guided me into what looks like a media room for business meetings. We sit down and almost immediately get right down to business. I realize I'm the only one there, and this man has stayed late for my orientation, which tells me he is dedicated to this program.
We go over the rules and stipulations, and he details the process that I will have to go through to be able to even be considered for all of this. I'd read from the website the basic process, such as the orientation, 30 hours of mandatory parenting classes, CPR class for certification, a medications class, and a couple other classes on top of that. I have to go through several background checks including driving history, local and federal criminal histories, and any abuse case histories. Then I have to have a basic physical, have my high school diploma sent to them, give them the vaccine reports on my dogs, have 5 references fill out reference questionnaires, have my home inspected my the fire marshal and health inspector, and have a home study. I asked several questions, such as is the size of my house an issue, are there specific breeds of dogs disallowed at foster homes, because I had been a victim of abuse would that be an issue, I have a juvenile record would that be an issue, and a few other questions. The director was very nice and answered all of my questions, and I was given the green light to go ahead with the process.
That evening I left a copy of my driver's license, social security card, and proof of car insurance with the director so he could begin the checks he needed to begin. I was sent home with a stack of paper work that was as thick as the King James Version of the bible. I'm not kidding or exaggerating on that one, I compared the stack of paper work to KJV bible and it was the exact same thickness! Much of it was stuff that needed signing such as the contract stating that as long as I was a foster parent I would adhere to a no spanking policy. There were several others that I actually need to go back over because they were things I had to sign off on stating I had read them. I did read them before I signed them, but I've gone over so much paperwork so far that all of it is kind of mixing up in my head. There was a huge home study questionnaire that I needed to fill out which has taken me a week to fill out and I still have one question left unanswered. There was one packet that is about the size of a typical paperback book which goes over the things I agree to, and Buckner's and the state's policies.
So at this point in the process, I need to have a copy of my diploma sent to Buckner, I need to get my physical and TB test results to Buckner, I need to get my dogs vaccine records to Buckner, and I need to get all of this paperwork back to them. In 4 days I will be attending the mandatory CPR certification class and plan on taking all the paperwork back with me. I'm searching my house for my dogs vaccine records, and will be picking up a copy of my diploma on Monday. That will leave the physical and TB test results which I'll get done soon, and the mandatory classes. I'm also reading several books about raising children in my preferred age range (ages 2 years through 4 years), and about adoption in general. It can be hard to keep all of this stuff in line, so thankfully Buckner sent home a checklist for me so that I can keep everything in line. Well... that's the process so far. More after I attend my CPR certification class and know more from the director about what comes next!
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